~ Friday April 13th ~

It's been a little while since I wrote another blog entry.

I was back at Tai Chi last night and it has dawned on me how having two shocks has mentally changed me.  I'm in the middle of class armed with a bottle of water and making sure I'm taking my time so as to not over exert myself.  But this is the problem.  I used to be able to just go to class and enjoy the lesson, now I'm trying hard to focus on my moves and think about that little thump in my chest.

So I end up doing loads of stupid f-ing mistakes, my focus is on two things and after two hours of a lesson I came away feeling more agitated and upset that I had a rubbish time all because I couldn't focus and enjoy it.

But it's not the class, it's me...

I just wonder how long it will take to get over this feeling of "ah is this going to shock me?" "am i doing more damage than good?"

It's not fare man.  I have been an active person all my life and I walk up a bloody hill and feel like I'm pushing it.