~ Monday April 16th Fabrice Muamba & Piermario Morosini ~

Today Fabrice Muamba was discharged from the London Chest Hospital after collapsing on the football pitch on the 17th March 2012, he is 24.

Piermario Morosini's an Italian ffootballer dies of a heart attack yesterday (15/04/2012), he was only 25 years old.

You hear these things and it immediately takes me back to April 2010 when I also collapsed in Egypt but thankfully for me my heart kept on beating.

Life is so fragile...you really need to enjoy what you have because man you don't know when your ticket number is going to be called and gone are the days when you think were all going to be old people when we die.

The question is this.

Why do I not remember hearing about young people dieing from heart failure when I was little or when my parents were little?  Was this still happening so much before and because of the speed of media we get this news quicker now.  What has changed in our bodies that have introduced this strange mutation and cutting us down so quickly?

I'm still alive so I shouldn't be too angry about my problems.

Anyway I would like to dedicate this blog entry to a healthy future for Fabrice Muamba and my heart goes out to the family of Piermario Morosini's

~ Friday April 13th ~

It's been a little while since I wrote another blog entry.

I was back at Tai Chi last night and it has dawned on me how having two shocks has mentally changed me.  I'm in the middle of class armed with a bottle of water and making sure I'm taking my time so as to not over exert myself.  But this is the problem.  I used to be able to just go to class and enjoy the lesson, now I'm trying hard to focus on my moves and think about that little thump in my chest.

So I end up doing loads of stupid f-ing mistakes, my focus is on two things and after two hours of a lesson I came away feeling more agitated and upset that I had a rubbish time all because I couldn't focus and enjoy it.

But it's not the class, it's me...

I just wonder how long it will take to get over this feeling of "ah is this going to shock me?" "am i doing more damage than good?"

It's not fare man.  I have been an active person all my life and I walk up a bloody hill and feel like I'm pushing it.